Paragraph 2 for essay:

The seven commandments were seven rules that the pigs made that all the animals were to follow in order for the rebellion to succeed. The commandments were 1)“Whatever goes upon two legs is an enemy.” 2)“Whatever goes upon four legs, or has wings, is a friend.” 3)“No animal shall wear clothes.4)“No animal shall sleep in a bed.”5)”No animal shall drink alcohol.”6)”No animal shall kill any other animal.”7)”All animals are equal.”These commandments quickly take place and seem to be working quite well. But later on, the pigs start to disobey the commandments, and notice that they are, and because they don’t want the other animals to find out, they slightly change them to suit themselves, this works because only one other animal can read, but he doesn’t actually care so he doesn’t share his skills with the rest of them.


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This paragraph doesn’t relate to the initial question you were asked. Remember this is about how one character changed from beginning to end and how those changes came about. Also remember to use the SEXY structure as well. You’ve got a strong statement and good example but you are missing the explanation and the Your opinion part is missing description of the author’s intent and a connection to the outside world. Strong point being made just remember to always bring it back to the question you are being asked.

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